Lies you tell yourself

[Solfy]

I'm going to get up early tomorrow.

If I hit snooze just one more time, then I'll be ready to get up.

If I lie in bed for two more minutes, then I'll be ready to get up.

I will get Twix from the vending machine and only eat one bar and save the other for later rather than devouring them both right now.

I'm not going to fall asleep on the couch, I'll go to bed right after I catch the weather forecast.

I'm only running into the store for a few things, I don't even need a cart.

This bra fits well enough that it won't annoy me by the end middle of the day.

An hour will be plenty of time for the errands I have to run.

I can get all the drywall hung and a coat of mud up in one Saturday afternoon and sand and apply a 2nd coat on Sunday afternoon.

I'll finish that report a day ahead of schedule, so it won't be hanging over my head all week.

I'm going to leave 30 minutes early today since I worked over 1.5hrs yesterday and the day before.

I don't need to flag that e-mail for follow-up, I'll remember to respond to it later.

[mlerose]

Applying for this job is worth my time and effort.

Someone is going to hire me after having been unemployed this long.

I am a worthwhile human being.

[jali]

I'm going to start losing weight. Soon.

[Jaglavak]

I'm not getting old, I'm gaining wisdom and character!

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by mlerose

I am a worthwhile human being.

Not a Lie.

[Solfy]

I only need to nap for 20-30 minutes, then I'll be totally recharged.

[Zeener Diode]

That urge to pee will subside.

[Knee]

As soon as it gets cooler outside I'll start riding my bike.

I will quit smoking soon, but first I have to get through <upcoming stressful event>

[Lungfish]

I will drink less, eat better and get more exercise.

[Dudley]

Originally Posted by Lungfish

I will drink less, eat better and get more exercise.

Yeah, it usually ends up being:

I will drink better, eat more and get less exercise.

Life is hard.

[Scuba Ben]

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

[Dudley]

Originally Posted by Scuba Ben

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

Three lies in one sentence. You poor thing.

[Scuba Ben]

Dudley, here's me giving you a poopy diaper:

[Solfy]

That light on the dashboard is probably a bad sensor, not a sign of anything expensive failing.

[Zeener Diode]

That new mole on my cheek is nothing to worry about.

[Scuba Ben]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diode

That new mole on my cheek is nothing to worry about.

It's just scaring away the ferrets in your hair.

[Mbossa]

If I have another drink I'll become more witty and charming.

If I get high I'll be able to think better.

[MarkF]

That I make a difference.

[Mbossa]

I'll just do one more Sporcle quiz and then get on with what I need to do.

[Zeener Diode]

My coworkers think I'm a clever and witty guy.

[Flying Saucerian]

Life is worth living.

[DogMom]

That I'll de-crapify the entire house in one burst of energy this coming weekend! This gets repeated a lot.

That I will NOT go visit the candy bowl.
(Ten minutes later)
That I'm not incredibly pissed-off that there's no chocolate left in the candy bowl.

[Zeener Diode]

I'm not afraid of the dark.

[jali]

Originally Posted by MarkF

That I make a difference.

Mark. You make a difference.

[Salambo]

Y'all aren't even a little bit depressing.

[MsWisher]

Originally Posted by Salambo

Y'all aren't even a little bit depressing.

This probably won't help.

The shoes that look so pretty and adorable can't possibly hurt my feet.

That I'm not sad that my lovely daughter has left home for 8 months to have the time of her life in Europe.

That a week of dreaming of the changes a lottery win could have is worth $5 a week.

That I will someday actually finish cleaning out my closet.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

After I finish my diet, I will be able to find cute, affordable clothes I like that fit me.
My boss is not plotting against me.

[Salambo]

Oooh, I got one! I'm going to empty the dishwasher and get dinner started while the kid naps and NOT play EQ2.

...


...

I gained three levels.

[Zombies!]

I'm just going to spend five minutes poking around on the internets, then get on with the files I have to register.

Just five minutes.

...

ZAMG you play EQ2 'lambo? What server? I've just reinstalled and found that even though I'm an F2P leech, my old Ratonga Brigand has been legacied onto my account so I can still play her

[Salambo]

I'm on Antonia Bayle, DE Assassin, and I'M SUPER JEALOUS THAT YOU STILL HAVE YOUR OLD CHAR! My old assassin got obliterated during server mergers. I used to be on Najena, now Najena doesn't exist. (I left for two years so they probably figgered I was gone for good, but I was level 82 and had all kinds of status and crap. No matter; I'm 92 now working on raid gear )

[Zombies!]

Woohoo! I'm on Antonia Bayle too, though I'm only a poxy level 13. I'd only just started her before I quit last time, and I lost all my high level alts. But was happy to find she was there!

[Salambo]

I have peemed you. I have peemed all over you.

[Colonel Plink]

Cops eyeball everybody that way.

Those college girls think gray hair and a pot belly are damn sexy.

Those soccer moms think gray hair and a pot belly are damn sexy.

That's not nervous laughter, it's just laughter.

[bufftabby]

I try to be brutally honest with myself, especially about myself. Sometimes we fight about it, though. I'm not the most tactful or easy to criticize person.

[Amythyst]

I'm going to read just one more thread on the Geeb, then make myself some dinner (or do the laundry, or clean the kitchen, or iron some clothes for work tomorrow, or do any number of tasks I've been putting off).

Originally Posted by mlerose

I am a worthwhile human being.

{{{mle}}} You are. Trust me. I only lie to myself.

[timbicile]

I am the only reality.
Fog is god hiding something from me.
No monsters live under my bed.

[timbicile]

I am the only reality.
Fog is god hiding something from me.
No monsters live under my bed.

[jali]

Originally Posted by mlerose

I am a worthwhile human being.

You're worth much more than you know. You are well loved.

[Jaglavak]

Double posting is not a sign of senility.

[timbicile]

My phone doesn't double post.

[timbicile]

Me and Jag do not have synchronicity.

[Anacanapuna]

The polyps were benign. "Pre-cancerous" means the same thing as benign. I know it does.

[Khampelf]

I will get to bed early, I just need to check my internet stuff 'real quick'.

I've been playing the same numbers for three years now, they're bound to hit any time.

Liking the person I've become is worth more than material success.

Those legal documents don't mean anything, they weren't properly served.

[Mbossa]

If I ignore this hole in my tooth it will fix itself.

[Wolf Larsen]

My farts don't smell that bad.
If I put my headphones on at work, nobody, can hear me fart.

[mothedrine]

I don't have to write this down. I'll remember.

Remember what now?

[dogbutler]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diode

I'm not afraid of the dark.

That's not a grue breathing on my neck.

[eleanorigby]

I'll be happy someday.
I'll meet a man who actually likes me for me, someday.
I'll be financially secure someday.

I'll get to travel abroad again.

[mothedrine]

I'll feel human someday.

[Mbossa]

My life is going somewhere.