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#1
31st March 2025, 05:36 PM
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i think my dad is dying
he has stage 4 cancer, I've been told to come say my goodbyes
he's 1200 miles away I gotta get on a plane this sucks 
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#3
31st March 2025, 05:48 PM
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That sucks extremely and I'm very sorry.
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#4
31st March 2025, 05:56 PM
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That's very sad.
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#7
31st March 2025, 06:56 PM
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I'm sorry, but glad you are able to go see him.
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#8
1st April 2025, 03:19 AM
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trying to anyway, heading to Florida during spring break season doesn't translate to many affordable flights
i'm sleep deprived
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#10
1st April 2025, 07:24 AM
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It's hard, and nothing's going to make it easy. But remember that this is part of loving people; and that the love is worth the pain.
Best of luck with the process of getting there. I think at least some airlines recognize this sort of emergency -- tell them what's going on.
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#11
1st April 2025, 08:08 AM
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i didn't even think of that but I'll look into that, thanks, my brain is all over the place at the moment
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#12
1st April 2025, 08:09 AM
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thanks for the hugs and sympathy everyone btw
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#14
1st April 2025, 09:30 AM
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I hope you get there asap Expecto!
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#17
1st April 2025, 11:50 AM
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Yikes, sorry to hear about that. Sending good vibes.
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#21
2nd April 2025, 05:55 AM
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thanks so much guys
i just booked a one way flight to Florida on Saturday. Just needed to get myself there, I'll grab a return flight when I get paid again just gotta hope nothing happens between now and then that was the soonest I could manage to get there love you guys
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#22
2nd April 2025, 01:17 PM
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now he's been calling me and telling me not to come I'm not listening though. He's angry and combative so that's adding a lot of stress as you can imagine
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#23
2nd April 2025, 01:29 PM
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When my dad suffered a minor stroke and had to stay in the hospital, he told my mom not to tell any of us kids what happened. I learned the truth when I tried visiting and their neighbor told me about an ambulance arriving two days earlier, and mom asking him to watch over their place while they were gone. I don't envy you having to face your dad but I'm certain he will appreciate you being there.
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#24
2nd April 2025, 05:58 PM
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Yeah, I'd recommend going anyway.
Is there another family member/close friend there who can tell you anything about his condition? These days I don't suppose you can talk with the doctors unless you're already on a list of people allowed to do so.
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#25
2nd April 2025, 06:08 PM
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my brother is local and my dad's roommate has been caring for him so I'm getting all my info from them. My brother went and saw him over the weekend and it was after that visit he told me I should come down. It's messy and complicated, my dad is angry and thinks everyone is against him and is confused about some stuff and has been doing everything from making threats to throwing bottles of his pain meds and etc. It's rough and I don't really know how to handle it
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#27
3rd April 2025, 05:19 AM
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To elaborate, my mother's last year (2018) was living hell for me. She too was angry and vicious and uncooperative and paranoid. This, on top of a lifetime of emotional abuse and manipulation that I may never recover from. THe only thing that kept me going was the fact that from March to August, when she finally died, she was in a nursing home (except for one million-year long week in May) I could go home and cry it out then lapse into a fugue state until the next morning when I had to pull myself together and adult for another day.
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#28
3rd April 2025, 05:42 AM
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#29
3rd April 2025, 08:00 AM
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My brother lives about 45 minutes south of where my dad is I'll be staying there
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#31
4th April 2025, 10:15 AM
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he found out I'm coming and tried to tell me not to but I think he's coming around a little on that I think it's actually lifted his spirits somewhat
I get on a plane tomorrow
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#33
4th April 2025, 10:59 AM
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Also, seconding Rattie's 'Safe travels and a  for the road.
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#34
4th April 2025, 11:30 AM
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And I just had to pay another $40 to check a bag 
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#35
4th April 2025, 01:16 PM
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back guys 
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#36
10th April 2025, 06:50 PM
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Been here since last Saturday. I'm flying home Wednesday
It's a lot. I don't believe he will pass while I'm still here but I'm fairly certain this will be the last time i see my dad
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#39
11th April 2025, 07:19 AM
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I know, I'm glad I came, it is just taking its toll I guess
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#40
11th April 2025, 07:19 AM
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(I had to leave before it was over for my father, also; many years ago now. But I'm pretty sure he knew I was there.)
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#42
11th April 2025, 09:17 AM
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Elderly parents are tough--we're going through a lot of that in my family too. Mom took a literal nosedive tripping on the carpet, landed flat on her face and broke her nose real good. Bled so much it soaked a patch of carpet two foot square down to the underlayment and she had to be given platelets at the hospital--where she drove herself and was trying to stop them from notifying my sister. Got that squared away then she had to have a brain bleed embolized.
Then my stepmother got her knee replaced and the niece who was supposed to be taking care of her decamped in a huff leaving her four days post op and unable to get herself out of bed with her only company being my 91 year old father who's got the dementia real bad and wears diapers. My sister drove over to check on the situation (she lives with mom near Placerville CA and dad and stepmom are in the Reno area) and it was really bad. So her son is staying with them for ten days to get stepmom squared away and I found a caregiver on Craigslist and did a phone interview with her. Middle sister stepped in to box a few rounds with stepmom who doesn't "want a stranger in her house" and give her a reality check. I think we've got it all settled but dayum, this isn't easy! We're very lucky youngest sister lives near enough to check on everyone since I'm up in Portland and middle sis is near Bellingham WA. This is my roundabout way of saying I have all the sympathy in the world, and I'm glad you got to see your dad again, Specky.
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#43
28th April 2025, 06:45 AM
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Went to Florida. Came back. Saw my dad but not really ready to talk about that but he has pneumonia now and is back at hospital. He can't really talk anymore he's lost his voice. My niece went and said her goodbyes to him yesterday. It was hard on her she's only 14. My brother broke down too. They saw him yesterday
I think it's getting close and not really sure why I'm sitting at work except for needing to pay bills and all This sucks
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#46
28th April 2025, 08:42 AM
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You are sitting at work because it's a distraction from something you have no control over.
Hang in there. Hugs and stuff.
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#48
28th April 2025, 05:06 PM
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#49
28th April 2025, 07:39 PM
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It does indeed suck however I’m glad for your family that you’re having an opportunity to say goodbye. However, you are able to arrange that I can say personally that while no death is easy or fun the out of the blue never saw it coming, and you didn’t have a chance to connect adds a level of suckitude.
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#50
29th April 2025, 03:28 AM
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Yeah I am grateful knowing it's coming being able to somewhat prepare and have those moments. Just the waiting is so difficult.
Thanks for all the love guys
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