|
#1453
13th August 2014, 07:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh Burpy. I am so very, very sorry, and I will be thinking good thoughts for your sweetie. Burp away, my friend; burp here any time you need to.
 
|
|
#1455
14th August 2014, 06:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You wouldn't call old turd-beak sexy if you ever saw him try to tie his shoelaces.
|
|
#1456
9th September 2014, 01:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hello, dear Burpy. I've been thinking about you a lot, yes I have, yes, yes, yes. I've been thinking about your Sweetie, too, and I'm wondering how she or he is doing. I'm wondering about how you are BOTH doing.
I chatted with some lobsters today, and I thought of you fiercely. Well, not with fierce thoughts, but with very fierce longings for you and yours to be okay. You're a good Burpy, and I hope you know that. Could I do something to help? I would love to.
|
|
#1458
13th September 2014, 03:37 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am glad that some peacieness has returned, Burpy, but I'll continue to keep you and yours in my thoughts.
Right now, I am drinking coffee, but later in the day I shall drink some pop in an effort to burp with you in solidarity. I shall really gulp that pop, I shall.
|
|
#1459
13th September 2014, 03:49 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Dear Mr. Burpy and Ms. Duck. I haven't seen either of you in a while. Good to see you both are doing fine.
|
|
#1460
13th September 2014, 04:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
TFON!
I have been busy moving from one coast of Canada to the other. (And boy, are my wings tired.  )
|
|
#1462
13th September 2014, 10:42 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Group hug!
... Rebo.
|
|
#1463
14th September 2014, 10:09 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Oh my dear, gosh, if it isn't dear Miss Rebo and the FoN Man – how very nice to see you!
I would try the group hug Miss Peeking Duck, but I am afraid it might cause a premature eructation. If you see the Giraffe Man, please give him my many regards – he does not drop by that often anymore. This is likely because he is kinda stupid. Being stupid however, is something I have a life long experience with, and it reminds me... Many many moons ago, when I was but a wee burpy, my burpiness had not grown up yet, no. I remember that my burps were but a teenagers' erectile flash of hot air. In those days, I would burp, and before I knew it my burp had flown and I was left deflated but rather at ease. One day Grandpa Burpy got so fed up he left an imprint of his big, calloused, grumpy old right hand on my chin, and I remember I had ashames at my lack of burpyness. He had a hat much like Mr. Taggart since Grandma used to hit him on his head with an iron skillet with an unnerving regularity – something with wages I think, but I was young and don't remember. I started to practice I did. Being a Burpy of course helped me a lot, as my genes made my air passing a piece of cake. By the time I was 15 Grandpa took me to a place called Tacoma where there were hardly any peoples. Unfortunately they had just built a bridge and, well, we had to leave real quick in our new Packard 180 we did. A couple years later I was practicing the 'low E' ,as we burpies call it, which tends to cause quite a disturbance. I thought I had found a quiet little place in Chesapeake, but unfortunately it caused a wee wave and some boat went haywire and crashed into some bridge. I remember I started to think that it would be wise to avoid bridges already then. I had to continue my education though, so my dad moved me up north to some dark place in Canada. La Grande Noirceur they called it, and my Grandpa's old buddy Duplessis gave us a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. At this stage I had perfected the 'kung-fu karate belch' which is when you allow your burp to exit with much force. Sadly, this caused a little temperature increase in the surroundings, and another bridge (I have been quite unlucky in my bridgely encounters) gave up and crashed in Quebec. Mr. Duplessis was not amused I heard later. By then I had perfected my burpyly skills, and was soon to be famous on many continents. That is another story I guess, someday I may tell you about the skirts of Sydney. I am sorry to have bored you with memories – they come easy to me these days it seems.
|
|
#1466
15th September 2014, 11:28 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Paging @Giraffe - somebody's asking about you!
|
|
#1468
3rd November 2014, 11:04 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I am so honored that the Giraffe Man came by to show off his fresh moustache that I have been trying to get back up to the chair that I fell off when his Giraffeness made this most unprecedented appearance yes I have.
While doing this severely excruciating piece of fitness, I also noticed that there were the most incredibly interesting beings living underneath the seat of my favorite office-sofa chair. They seem to live there there all by themselves, with nothing to brighten up their day but a rogue dust fleck. That they can live their lives with such boring happenings amuses me quite a bit more than it should. Dust speck!     Where?  There!!! :gtfo: Kill it with fire!  Is it gone? Peeks:  Yes!   
|
|
#1470
4th January 2015, 10:06 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Mr. Stormie did not find me, sadly. Next year I shall make many many more efforts, yes.
On the plus side, I have decided to get fitful again, which is nice. On Monday I shall start: Step 1 is to get my lobsters jogging, and then Mrs. Burpy. I hope they will take me with them.
|
|
#1471
2nd March 2015, 12:01 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
My fits have not taken off, I am way too lazy it seems. It is now two months later, and the start of a new month. This time I shall do it!
It seems that my burpylicious presense, and a threat of a genuine Burpy burp, is enough to shut up the silly people, so at least I have that going for me, which is nice. Now, how do I lose my belly fat with the least amount of effort? I think I will start with cutting down on the carbohydratables, but then again, I do love bread, pizza and french fries. Sigh, life is so very hard sometimes I have started to walk to work though, and back again (with a stop over at the pub and the baker and the snack food place), so surely I must soonly become Adonis-like right? Any tips?
|
|
#1476
18th October 2015, 02:28 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
What's the obsession with discrete poundage? I think there are better ways to measure hapieness in nutrition, body image, and metabolic science.
|
|
#1477
1st April 2016, 10:42 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I am starting again I am, yet again, I go, for a slightly smaller belly yes.
Day 1: 01st of the Month. 3 push ups. 3 sit ups. No more potatoes, just vegetables.Thinking what to do about breakfast.  Probably eggs, but that’s for tomorrow. Mrs. Burpy says "cut the carbs and the alcohooliganism" - Mrs. Burpy is generally wise.I can do this! Please wish me many lucks yes, and encourog - eh - encoreroughmoments - encouragement, yes that is the the word.
|
|
#1479
1st April 2016, 12:43 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Good luck.
|
|
#1480
5th April 2016, 10:32 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hmm.
Even though I do 3 sit ups and 3 push ups, it does not seem to work. Is it not so that 1 sit up = 1 pie, and 1 push up = 3 pints of lager? I am sure it is, but then again, I am usually wrong. I also need to figure out what tenous exerciser ritual equals a bucket of KFC - any ideas? There is no need for fastly answers, I have gone rogue I have, and will try to completely ignore the above dietary advices yes. Wish me luck!
|
|
#1481
5th April 2016, 11:06 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I've heard that a frogging can equal a bucket of Irish-style fried fish. I do not follow the low logic of this dietary calculus. Maybe it is because one should push up the lager into the bucket of Kllarney fried cod?
|
|
#1482
9th October 2016, 08:46 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Burp!
I have had indications from my elders that many Burps are needed in America, and I must admit I have let you down, I must. I have been very very busy, I have lost my eldest lobster Erik, and also I have lost many pounds of belly flesh as I have been fitfully fit! If you play badminton, you know what I mean, and if you do not play badminton, then you do not know what I mean – and that is OK as well really. Please do not worry about your futures, me and the elder Burpies will keep a keen eye on you, and make sure you all become super happy yes. Sorry about that little windy piece down in Florida, we needed to blow in some freshly winds. As you know, we speak in the echoes of silence, and a little thunder was needed for the family discussion. We did NOT have anything to do with the Caribbean things - those were the evil doings of an old tribe of rasta-farts. Ok? Burp.
|
|
#1484
18th October 2016, 09:53 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Do you mean lobsters Mr. or Mrs. FX? I have lobsters still, and they all still react in the most fantastic ways when I tickle their tails, oh yes they do.
Or do you mean something else? Have you ever been campinating in wildernessesses where the moose roam? I can tell you it is a scarrinating experience yes!
|
|
#1487
26th October 2016, 07:39 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's a contraption you use to make lobster alcohol.
|
|
#1488
7th May 2017, 07:39 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I do not understand all this lobster hatred.
I you knew lobsters like I do, you would admire them muchly! I have one, Frida, who can do the Macarena with her peculiar lobster claws, and another one, Fred, who can snap his claws like Freddy in Killer Queenly. And then there is Doris. Doris can wiggle her lobster eyebrows just like Celine Dion. They are really pretty cool creatures they are. Soonly, it is time for the annual lobster’n’lager party – expect invitations ! As I have become friendly with my lobsters though, I shall probably cook undocumented lobsters.
|
|
#1490
8th May 2017, 10:45 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Burpy, would Frieda happen to be a Spanish lobster? All the Spanish lobsters that I know dance with fantastic energy.
Don't hug a spiny lobster though. Learn from my fail.
|
|
#1491
3rd September 2017, 08:17 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I know I have not uptodateiated this discussion page – this is because I am getting older, ancient if you ask Mrs. Burpy.
Both Doris and Frida are, however, ready for the BBQ – along with Henry and Adolf who have been misbehaving, I will soon send out invites to my lobster’n’lager party – but first I am off for another adventure! Yes, old Burpy is on his way, on the road again. I am going to Japan, to meet with an ancient being you may know as Godzilla, but his actual name is Fred. Fred and I go back way long, yes, we used to smashyate cities just for fun. We will not do this now, our backs are hurting and all that mayhem is getting old. When I get back, we will surely have the lobster’n’lager party and I will invitiate you all. For now, one last time, I must pack my suitcase.
|
|
#1492
24th February 2018, 07:26 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It did take a little longer than I had thought it would take taking, but I am finally back home in Ohio, and happy to be so yes. I have been told that I may now retire.
I like that. Even though I have now become a senior citizen, I shall still take care of my lobsters, and you are all very welcome to my annual lobster'nlager party yes. I ask that you respect my elderishness, and that I cannot perform as when I was a mere young Burpy, but I can still tell you many tales of wonder, amazenesses, shock and awe and many other variants you have probably never even heard off. Thus is the life of an old Burpy. My replacement, Burpy MM, I have been told is raring to go, and should take over my responsibilities at timely square next year. It has been a pleasure - I now retire. All the best, Burpy
|
|
#1494
1st November 2018, 05:06 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#1495
1st November 2018, 05:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#1497
1st November 2018, 07:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
An unpoopable case of constipation.
|
|
#1498
2nd November 2018, 06:01 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#1499
2nd November 2018, 08:14 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I was on massive opiods when I had my open heart surgery, and it was a week before I pooped. It was awful. When I finally pooped, it was like giving birth to a slightly underweight baby lawyer. Felt good to flush it.
My reading on medical stuff says constipation gets a whole lot worse than that.
|
|
#1500
2nd November 2018, 09:45 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
